Constellations of Small Thoughts
when unrelated stars form a picture...sort of
Seemingly unrelated topics and thoughts are on my mind—notions around raunchy humor, the left’s latest attempt to attack Trump, humidifiers, depression, grief, creativity, routines, my personal hypocrisy, and a few other topics—and all of them are in that nebulous territory where writing about them may help me clarify my thoughts.
There may or may not be a through-line; I suppose we’ll find out together.
The Power of Raunchy Humor
If you find yourself with something serious to fear, I cannot recommend highly enough that you find a raunchy joke about it. I’ve got a major health problem at present—nothing life threatening, but worrying—and the possibility of needing blood transfusion looms.
Luckily, my dear friend
is the same blood type as me. And he has promised to let me play vampire and take his blood if I need it.This is a great comfort to me; the last thing I want is to get a goddamn COVID vaccine via transfusion. And of all the human beings I’ve ever known, the one I would most trust with the task of aggressively advocating for me—making sure that he saw with his own two eyes that I got his blood and no one else’s—is Josh. But it’s still an anxiety-producing situation, naturally.
The one thing that consistently lowers my anxiety, makes me laugh, and puts an involuntary grin on my face — that makes this scary possibility much easier to bear — is this:
If the worst happens and I find myself in the hospital, taking deep breaths and listening to Josh explain how many lawsuits they can expect if my anxiety disorder is thrown into 24/7 activation by him being unable to tell me he watched with his own two eyes as his blood, and only his blood, went into my IV—then one glorious, wonderful piece of humor will be available to me forever.
I will spend the rest of his life reminding Josh that it’s thanks to me, and me alone, that he can now truthfully assert that he’s been inside a woman. 😈😈😈
Behind the paywall: The Left’s Latest Attempt to Attack Trump; Humidifiers; A Riff on Socialized Medicine; My Personal Hypocrisy; Depression, Rules, and Routines; and Grief and Gratitude.
This post is part of my creative writing series, wherein I take risks, post photo essays, review Woke books to mock them viciously, post writing experiments, and tell personal stories. Paid subscribers have access to this series in full, not just the occasional ones I don’t paywall, as well as my series on How to Not Suck at Math. They can also leave comments when they’re turned on.