Holly, thank you for writing this and being willing to share your story to advocate for the protection of children. I am reminded of an article I read over a decade ago titled "How Pedophilia Lost Its Cool". The author argues that pedophilia was being de-stigmatized in elite circles during the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, but the sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church during the early 2000s caused a reversal of that trend. Unfortunately, memories are short and pedophilia is gaining its "cool" again. Thank you for fighting the good fight.
Not sure how to best bring this up, especially as it was hard enough to read without having the background that you did, but it is worth reading "The Last Closet: The Dark Side of Avalon" by Moira Greyland, the daughter of Marion Zimmer Bradley, of her horrific experiences growing up in the household and the abuse she, her brother, and others suffered at the hands of her parents.
Yes, the Sci Fi author. Who's husband was Walter Breen, convicted pedophile.
It is dark, gut wrenching, and despite being fairly short, took me several tries to get through over several months.
There are SO many things here that I relate to Holly. Wow. Brilliant piece! Thank you!
I too have been struggling with this push toward normalizing pedophiles and it was part of the reason I started my Substack. Sexual abuse and rape are only part of the trauma I experienced as a child and although it had a huge negative effect on my being, the medical trauma was worse and ongoing.
I see another post about suicide and sadly, that's another thing we have in common. My brother successfully suffocated himself in his vehicle in his garage shortly after leaving my house in 2011. He had tried once before shortly after Elvis died by jumping off an overpass but he lived. He left his entire Elvis collection - the only thing that mattered to him - to me. I was 12. He had brain damage but managed to eek out a life but the guilt I carried for all of those years - yeah. I relate to everything you wrote in that post too.
Well... not an enjoyable post. But well written, and unfortunately the topic matters. As you say, there is a push in some circles to normalize child sex abuse. It's simply horrific, and yet it's happening.
I think one of the things you do well is highlight the danger with the trend in our world to "normalize" or "destigmatize" just about every deviant and destructive behavior imaginable. There are many behaviors that SHOULD be stigmatized, should be marginalized, and people SHOULD feel shame for. Turning destructive behavior into an identity category and then launching a crusade to normalize the poor, marginalized community is just a terrible world view. There are no good outcomes to this way of thinking.
“The normalization of this evil is an existential threat to humanity itself. If we lose this one, whether we keep on existing as a species or not will be largely irrelevant.” So very true.
Once again, Holly, you have written with such clear-eyed authenticity that it breaks my heart. Thank you for the courage to share this and for the moral understanding of how incredibly important this fight is. I will implement all your suggestions in my life whenever I have the opportunity. Sending you gratitude and thanks.
Holly, this was a hard read, but so informative. Thank you for writing this. Do you think you would have told anyone the truth if they would have asked you? A friend’s mother, someone from church, etc. IF someone like that had asked. I worry about my niece who just hits all the marks for the perfect target. All the red flags are up but I struggle with exactly what to ask her to make sure she’s safe- other than does Mom’s boyfriend ever make you feel uncomfortable…I only see her a handful of times a year. It keeps me up at night. Is there anything or any intervention at the time of your abuse that would have made you feel safe enough to tell?
Holly, thank you for writing this and being willing to share your story to advocate for the protection of children. I am reminded of an article I read over a decade ago titled "How Pedophilia Lost Its Cool". The author argues that pedophilia was being de-stigmatized in elite circles during the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s, but the sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church during the early 2000s caused a reversal of that trend. Unfortunately, memories are short and pedophilia is gaining its "cool" again. Thank you for fighting the good fight.
https://www.firstthings.com/article/2009/12/how-pedophilia-lost-its-cool
Thank you!!
It was being de-stigmatized in a number of circles - in another reply I mentioned Walter Breen and Marion Zimmer Bradley.
Not sure how to best bring this up, especially as it was hard enough to read without having the background that you did, but it is worth reading "The Last Closet: The Dark Side of Avalon" by Moira Greyland, the daughter of Marion Zimmer Bradley, of her horrific experiences growing up in the household and the abuse she, her brother, and others suffered at the hands of her parents.
Yes, the Sci Fi author. Who's husband was Walter Breen, convicted pedophile.
It is dark, gut wrenching, and despite being fairly short, took me several tries to get through over several months.
There are SO many things here that I relate to Holly. Wow. Brilliant piece! Thank you!
I too have been struggling with this push toward normalizing pedophiles and it was part of the reason I started my Substack. Sexual abuse and rape are only part of the trauma I experienced as a child and although it had a huge negative effect on my being, the medical trauma was worse and ongoing.
I see another post about suicide and sadly, that's another thing we have in common. My brother successfully suffocated himself in his vehicle in his garage shortly after leaving my house in 2011. He had tried once before shortly after Elvis died by jumping off an overpass but he lived. He left his entire Elvis collection - the only thing that mattered to him - to me. I was 12. He had brain damage but managed to eek out a life but the guilt I carried for all of those years - yeah. I relate to everything you wrote in that post too.
Thanks Holly :) I'm glad I found your Substack!
Well... not an enjoyable post. But well written, and unfortunately the topic matters. As you say, there is a push in some circles to normalize child sex abuse. It's simply horrific, and yet it's happening.
I think one of the things you do well is highlight the danger with the trend in our world to "normalize" or "destigmatize" just about every deviant and destructive behavior imaginable. There are many behaviors that SHOULD be stigmatized, should be marginalized, and people SHOULD feel shame for. Turning destructive behavior into an identity category and then launching a crusade to normalize the poor, marginalized community is just a terrible world view. There are no good outcomes to this way of thinking.
“The normalization of this evil is an existential threat to humanity itself. If we lose this one, whether we keep on existing as a species or not will be largely irrelevant.” So very true.
Once again, Holly, you have written with such clear-eyed authenticity that it breaks my heart. Thank you for the courage to share this and for the moral understanding of how incredibly important this fight is. I will implement all your suggestions in my life whenever I have the opportunity. Sending you gratitude and thanks.
Holly, this was a hard read, but so informative. Thank you for writing this. Do you think you would have told anyone the truth if they would have asked you? A friend’s mother, someone from church, etc. IF someone like that had asked. I worry about my niece who just hits all the marks for the perfect target. All the red flags are up but I struggle with exactly what to ask her to make sure she’s safe- other than does Mom’s boyfriend ever make you feel uncomfortable…I only see her a handful of times a year. It keeps me up at night. Is there anything or any intervention at the time of your abuse that would have made you feel safe enough to tell?
This question is important and requires a long answer. Shoot me an email, please. hollymathnerd at gmail. It may be this weekend, but I will answer.