Keep holding on; that's about all we can do, remembering it's the little things that take us away from the machine that count.
Today, it was the wind blowing the trees in my back yard, making moving patterns of light and shade as the sun was untroubled by clouds. Then a traveler, a bird I hadn't seen before, riding the waving branches. And a yellow butterfly zooming through the yard, matching the yellow petunias in a pot I picked up at the grocery store on sale. All caught on camera, then processed and posted to my SmugMug account.
And the machine keeps calling: files to be backed up, emails to be read, news sites to check.
Time for a break: a walk to the mailbox to check for real mail, out in the sun and air again.
We can all manage it, if we keep our priorities in mind. Thanks for reminding us.
I love that you've included a solutions piece, things you tried that might help (that's the bit that usually gets skipped online, of course!)
Spending at least 3+ days (ideally a week) somewhere scenic with no wifi or reception is the thing I'd recommend to anyone, doing it myself changed my attitude towards social media hopefully forever (not that it was planned). It's incredibly motivating, seeing how different you are without it, without even the possibility of it. Like getting to inhabit a really fit, healthy body for a while when you're struggling to see why you should drag yourself to the gym and stop drinking. Not having anything to "reach" for changes how you think, how you move through the world, in a way that's simultaneously shocking and really hopeful.
Thank you very much Holly, for your series, for brain.fm, and for your examples of solutions that you're using to stay out of the monsters of social media. I went for a walk outside the day before yesterday and it was such a relief. I haven't been commenting much on essays lately, which is why I've been silent here, too. I haven't been able to concentrate long enough to think coherently. I'm frightened by that. I'm tired of the outrage machine. I'm going back into this essay to make notes on how you're approaching the problem. I'm listening to brain.fm as I write and I'm finding it comforting. How strangely welcome that is.
I'm so glad to hear that. I haven't studied in enough depth to be sure how it works, but I do think that my hypothesis of keeping part of the brain busy that would otherwise be distracting us is probably quite close.
I didn't know about the Scarcity Brain and the trap - but I sure recognise I'm subject to it. Why do I post here I wonder? Because I share a history of some combination of PTSD and ADHD and respond strongly intellectually and emotionally to many of your posts. And because I get a LITTLE feedback from Holly and others liking my comments. I interpret a like as indicating the post was helpful in some way. AND I've come to recognise that is pretty much as good as internet interactions get. Once I got over the unconscious expectation that virtual connections had to potential to develop like in person relationships I reduced my commenting drastically and progressively. I will comment on Alan Dershowitz's podcast because we are of a similar generation have very similar values. To my surprise and delight he read one of my comments out on one of his recent podcasts, but I have made no attempt to write another comment aiming for a repeat. So I have learned that the virtual world is not the real world and recognise I was really confused about that. I also realise that my confusion goes way back to when I was 4 in 1948 and totally engrossed the Westerns I watched by my grandfather's 7 inch TV. I would get beside myself with excitement telling my parents about what I saw! "The man in the white hat HAD TWO GUNS!!!! Somehow even in 1948 screen reality was more exciting and engaging than er...real reality. Finally, since the key goal of my meditation practice is just to be present to whatever I am experiencing, I see this struggle with social media as a part of overcoming the compulsive avoidance of the direct experience of life that plagues people who have some combination PTSD and ADHD. FORWARD!!
Thank you for this series, Holly. I learned some things from your report on readings, and I found resonance with some of your life changes, but from my own perspective and personal quirks. I stopped most posting on Facebook other than letting people know about my latest podcast episodes, in part for the reasons you mention. In my own case, I was known for posting articles that caused me to think because I thought they would be helpful for others to read. This both took time, and, in my experience, I found it difficult to write in long form about them. But I prefer longer form writing and on Facebook I didn't have the space to talk about ways I disagreed with the writers whose articles I posted.
But my concerns with time management followed me as I went over to Substack. It comes from my wide-ranging interest in our complex human reality, causes and effects of why we do what we do, etc. I am working on being better about curating what I take the time to read. Making sure I include a range of viewpoints, while smiling gently with myself as I notice the urge to read many other things that turn out not to matter that much after I am done reading them.
I also have been on a spiritual search over the last 30 years (at almost 81 years old), and that still matters to me. I write about and practice that somewhat openly on my Sacred Gyre podcast series, but find ways like doing art and music meditation, and staying connected to my small women's support group that nourish this aspect of my being.
Best wishes as you navigate your own path though this complex and beautiful life.
This has been a really great series and Part 4 is excellent. Thankful to have discovered Substack. There are some great writers on it, and you are certainly one of them. Enjoy your weekend hiatus.
Well this reminds me a little of a lesson I learned in ballet: learning to do something the right way means doing it correctly about a thousand times. And - I am paraphrasing - if you learn it the wrong way and have to relearn, it will take more like three thousand repetitions to do it right.
This is a mental game of inches, and every day we stay out of it is a win.
In other news, in June my wife and I will have two kittens joining our household. They have been named Dagney and Dominique.
If they live up to their names they will be a handful.
Beautiful conclusion to a great series.
Keep holding on; that's about all we can do, remembering it's the little things that take us away from the machine that count.
Today, it was the wind blowing the trees in my back yard, making moving patterns of light and shade as the sun was untroubled by clouds. Then a traveler, a bird I hadn't seen before, riding the waving branches. And a yellow butterfly zooming through the yard, matching the yellow petunias in a pot I picked up at the grocery store on sale. All caught on camera, then processed and posted to my SmugMug account.
And the machine keeps calling: files to be backed up, emails to be read, news sites to check.
Time for a break: a walk to the mailbox to check for real mail, out in the sun and air again.
We can all manage it, if we keep our priorities in mind. Thanks for reminding us.
Thank you, sir!
Well said. I do use that brain.fm app all the time. Thank you for recommending it and for these essays.
I’m so glad that brain.fm is helping you too!
I'm going to give brain.fm a try, see if I can get my scattered attention back.
Excellent!! Let me know if it helps.
I love that you've included a solutions piece, things you tried that might help (that's the bit that usually gets skipped online, of course!)
Spending at least 3+ days (ideally a week) somewhere scenic with no wifi or reception is the thing I'd recommend to anyone, doing it myself changed my attitude towards social media hopefully forever (not that it was planned). It's incredibly motivating, seeing how different you are without it, without even the possibility of it. Like getting to inhabit a really fit, healthy body for a while when you're struggling to see why you should drag yourself to the gym and stop drinking. Not having anything to "reach" for changes how you think, how you move through the world, in a way that's simultaneously shocking and really hopeful.
Bravo!
Thank you very much Holly, for your series, for brain.fm, and for your examples of solutions that you're using to stay out of the monsters of social media. I went for a walk outside the day before yesterday and it was such a relief. I haven't been commenting much on essays lately, which is why I've been silent here, too. I haven't been able to concentrate long enough to think coherently. I'm frightened by that. I'm tired of the outrage machine. I'm going back into this essay to make notes on how you're approaching the problem. I'm listening to brain.fm as I write and I'm finding it comforting. How strangely welcome that is.
I'm so glad to hear that. I haven't studied in enough depth to be sure how it works, but I do think that my hypothesis of keeping part of the brain busy that would otherwise be distracting us is probably quite close.
I didn't know about the Scarcity Brain and the trap - but I sure recognise I'm subject to it. Why do I post here I wonder? Because I share a history of some combination of PTSD and ADHD and respond strongly intellectually and emotionally to many of your posts. And because I get a LITTLE feedback from Holly and others liking my comments. I interpret a like as indicating the post was helpful in some way. AND I've come to recognise that is pretty much as good as internet interactions get. Once I got over the unconscious expectation that virtual connections had to potential to develop like in person relationships I reduced my commenting drastically and progressively. I will comment on Alan Dershowitz's podcast because we are of a similar generation have very similar values. To my surprise and delight he read one of my comments out on one of his recent podcasts, but I have made no attempt to write another comment aiming for a repeat. So I have learned that the virtual world is not the real world and recognise I was really confused about that. I also realise that my confusion goes way back to when I was 4 in 1948 and totally engrossed the Westerns I watched by my grandfather's 7 inch TV. I would get beside myself with excitement telling my parents about what I saw! "The man in the white hat HAD TWO GUNS!!!! Somehow even in 1948 screen reality was more exciting and engaging than er...real reality. Finally, since the key goal of my meditation practice is just to be present to whatever I am experiencing, I see this struggle with social media as a part of overcoming the compulsive avoidance of the direct experience of life that plagues people who have some combination PTSD and ADHD. FORWARD!!
Great job, Holly! You’ve found tangible solutions to reclaiming your humanity, health, and balance!
Thank you for this series, Holly. I learned some things from your report on readings, and I found resonance with some of your life changes, but from my own perspective and personal quirks. I stopped most posting on Facebook other than letting people know about my latest podcast episodes, in part for the reasons you mention. In my own case, I was known for posting articles that caused me to think because I thought they would be helpful for others to read. This both took time, and, in my experience, I found it difficult to write in long form about them. But I prefer longer form writing and on Facebook I didn't have the space to talk about ways I disagreed with the writers whose articles I posted.
But my concerns with time management followed me as I went over to Substack. It comes from my wide-ranging interest in our complex human reality, causes and effects of why we do what we do, etc. I am working on being better about curating what I take the time to read. Making sure I include a range of viewpoints, while smiling gently with myself as I notice the urge to read many other things that turn out not to matter that much after I am done reading them.
I also have been on a spiritual search over the last 30 years (at almost 81 years old), and that still matters to me. I write about and practice that somewhat openly on my Sacred Gyre podcast series, but find ways like doing art and music meditation, and staying connected to my small women's support group that nourish this aspect of my being.
Best wishes as you navigate your own path though this complex and beautiful life.
This has been a really great series and Part 4 is excellent. Thankful to have discovered Substack. There are some great writers on it, and you are certainly one of them. Enjoy your weekend hiatus.
Well this reminds me a little of a lesson I learned in ballet: learning to do something the right way means doing it correctly about a thousand times. And - I am paraphrasing - if you learn it the wrong way and have to relearn, it will take more like three thousand repetitions to do it right.
This is a mental game of inches, and every day we stay out of it is a win.
PS I signed up for brain.fm. So far I like it better than Endel. Or Endor. Or Embrel. Or whatever it is. :D