I’m also no stranger to the abyss. I was very depressed for a very long time. My situation doesn’t necessarily turn into useful advice, as the cause was somewhat unusual (undiagnosed autism meant I was continually doing stuff that was bad for me and burning out), but a couple of things that helped/help me stay sane:
Related to your statement about good deeds – volunteering. It’s not something everyone can do, as it requires being not so depressed you can’t get out at all and also having time to give up (I was unemployed or part-time employed), but it was really good for me to be somewhere where I could do good and be around people without being expected to socialise in a formal way both when I was depressed and when I was trying to stay not-depressed. There are lots of different ways to volunteer for different types of people.
Go for walks. They don’t have to be long. Just get out.
Gratitude is a big one, though more than some of these others it takes a lot more purposeful effort for me to center it in my life.
One thing not on your list that I know I mentioned before to you, but isn't always possible, is strenuous exercise. The days that I feel worse are typically the ones when I haven't exercised very hard or at all.
Wow, what a great catalogue of survival tips for anyone. Good to hear you are off Ritalin! I know it has real therapeutic value, but I also know it was, and probably still is, massively over prescribed (I was on it for years as a child, back when it was the thing to do to young males with energy 🙄 wait, it still is, isn’t it?). Behavioral coping strategies are ever so much better. Personally I always focus on not giving up.
May the Abyss move to a remote planet only reachable by faster than light starship, which have not been invented yet, so …
Depression is something I don't experience, except a little blues when it's all cloudy and dark outside for too many days on end, so it's hard to relate.
I live alone, but not intentionally: sometimes life just throws it at you. And the last two times I got left alone weren't for bad reasons at all: one was a marriage, the other was a change of mind. I'm working on changing the living alone situation, but that's going slowly. A challenge is always a good way to keep your mind off your troubles.
Gratitude comes built in with my long-term relationship (since 1963) with Jesus. I know your feelings on that, but it has always worked for me. The way I look at it is everything I am and everything I have comes from God and I thank him many times a day, even for the not-so-nice things that happen.
Finally, I stay too busy to let depression slip in. Even though I've been fully retired since 2010, I always have a number of projects going on. Right now I'm juggling four or five, and I probably should get off the Internet and go to work on one.
Oh yeah, one more: new things are nice. Today on the way home from rehab, I stopped at Dillard's and picked up a new hat: the old one was getting pretty grungy looking. I had hoped it would be on sale; it wasn't but I got it anyway. You're right: shopping therapy, if done wisely can work wonders for your attitude. (I like those sneakers.)
Udemy constantly has sales. I agree that it's best to wait until your class is about $15 dollars. I love Kain Ramsay's classes. They're super long and jam-packed full of useful information.
I imagine you're an abyss navigating cartographer by now, and your therapist sounds like a legend. But just in case it's helpful to you or anyone ... one thing that has made a meaningful difference to many of my clients is thinking in terms of finding ways to hold onto the thread back to the "other place". In depression it can feel so impossible to remember what it feels like to not be depressed. That you ever felt different before, or can feel different again. It looks a bit different for everyone. Sometimes it's as simple as strengthening the thought "I have been in the other place before, far from the abyss, and I know that when I am here I can't remember it properly but it's REAL whether it "feels real" or not." In more mild depression, remembering non-depressed times can be aided by visualisation, tapping into each sense as vividly as possible, manually adding colour and sound and sensations to memory.
That metaphor of the abyss is such a useful one ... and also the closer you get to it, the harder it gets to think your thoughts and to remember your life and mind beyond this place. Like some kind of mindbending sci-fi entity.
Yes. I used pictures for this. I decorate for holidays, and I remember scrolling through them and remembering what it was like to be that person. It was very helpful.
I love all of these.... pragmatic, simple and wise! I'm not prone to deeply depressive episodes. For me, they are few, and far between. However, even in my mostly steady state, I can vouch for how much MORE peaceful my life is since I've greatly limited the amount of political news I ingest (any news for that matter). I can't believe how much of my energy and peace it consumed while I was "trying to stay on top of things". And I laugh now at how ridiculous I was thinking I could. Though, I have to say, I found you on (then) Twitter while I was immersed in news... and I'm very glad I did. A spot of sunlight! Frankly, your ability to articulate your observations with rationale and wit, is always refreshing to me.
I recently started playing the drums again after a (holy cow) 38 year hiatus. Playing makes me so happy! And you’re absolutely right: I need to drop $200 on a decent stool so I can sit and play for longer than 40 minutes at a time. (The foam in my 38-yr-old stool is completely useless) Soon!!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I have not the first clue how to do that! If I can figure out how to edit the video I took, I’ll post it to YouTube and reply with a link…
Haven't been there - have skirted the edges, like many probably have. But I've lived and worked with some who have, and this looks useful, if I can get them to read it, or listen to me tell them. Thanks.
Here’s a parasocial hug for you, Holly…
(hug)
I’m also no stranger to the abyss. I was very depressed for a very long time. My situation doesn’t necessarily turn into useful advice, as the cause was somewhat unusual (undiagnosed autism meant I was continually doing stuff that was bad for me and burning out), but a couple of things that helped/help me stay sane:
Related to your statement about good deeds – volunteering. It’s not something everyone can do, as it requires being not so depressed you can’t get out at all and also having time to give up (I was unemployed or part-time employed), but it was really good for me to be somewhere where I could do good and be around people without being expected to socialise in a formal way both when I was depressed and when I was trying to stay not-depressed. There are lots of different ways to volunteer for different types of people.
Go for walks. They don’t have to be long. Just get out.
Agreed about gratitude, reading and learning.
“Gratitude, at its best, isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about remembering that even in the worst moments, not everything is broken.”
That’s an excellent way to frame gratitude. I love it.
Gratitude is a big one, though more than some of these others it takes a lot more purposeful effort for me to center it in my life.
One thing not on your list that I know I mentioned before to you, but isn't always possible, is strenuous exercise. The days that I feel worse are typically the ones when I haven't exercised very hard or at all.
Wow, what a great catalogue of survival tips for anyone. Good to hear you are off Ritalin! I know it has real therapeutic value, but I also know it was, and probably still is, massively over prescribed (I was on it for years as a child, back when it was the thing to do to young males with energy 🙄 wait, it still is, isn’t it?). Behavioral coping strategies are ever so much better. Personally I always focus on not giving up.
May the Abyss move to a remote planet only reachable by faster than light starship, which have not been invented yet, so …
Depression is something I don't experience, except a little blues when it's all cloudy and dark outside for too many days on end, so it's hard to relate.
I live alone, but not intentionally: sometimes life just throws it at you. And the last two times I got left alone weren't for bad reasons at all: one was a marriage, the other was a change of mind. I'm working on changing the living alone situation, but that's going slowly. A challenge is always a good way to keep your mind off your troubles.
Gratitude comes built in with my long-term relationship (since 1963) with Jesus. I know your feelings on that, but it has always worked for me. The way I look at it is everything I am and everything I have comes from God and I thank him many times a day, even for the not-so-nice things that happen.
Finally, I stay too busy to let depression slip in. Even though I've been fully retired since 2010, I always have a number of projects going on. Right now I'm juggling four or five, and I probably should get off the Internet and go to work on one.
Oh yeah, one more: new things are nice. Today on the way home from rehab, I stopped at Dillard's and picked up a new hat: the old one was getting pretty grungy looking. I had hoped it would be on sale; it wasn't but I got it anyway. You're right: shopping therapy, if done wisely can work wonders for your attitude. (I like those sneakers.)
Udemy constantly has sales. I agree that it's best to wait until your class is about $15 dollars. I love Kain Ramsay's classes. They're super long and jam-packed full of useful information.
For me, in addition to the news/social media fasting & serving others, what helps is:
* vitamin D - here in the UK we get naff all sunlight, and this has been the game-changer for getting through the winter season unscathed
* getting out into nature - woods/mountains
Glad you made it through.
Thank you. Just thank you.
You’re welcome! ☺️
You’re welcome! ☺️
I always enjoy reading your articles.
Keep up doing what makes you happy.
If more people did that, life would be easier.
Cracker of a list, and that recipe looks goooood.
I imagine you're an abyss navigating cartographer by now, and your therapist sounds like a legend. But just in case it's helpful to you or anyone ... one thing that has made a meaningful difference to many of my clients is thinking in terms of finding ways to hold onto the thread back to the "other place". In depression it can feel so impossible to remember what it feels like to not be depressed. That you ever felt different before, or can feel different again. It looks a bit different for everyone. Sometimes it's as simple as strengthening the thought "I have been in the other place before, far from the abyss, and I know that when I am here I can't remember it properly but it's REAL whether it "feels real" or not." In more mild depression, remembering non-depressed times can be aided by visualisation, tapping into each sense as vividly as possible, manually adding colour and sound and sensations to memory.
That metaphor of the abyss is such a useful one ... and also the closer you get to it, the harder it gets to think your thoughts and to remember your life and mind beyond this place. Like some kind of mindbending sci-fi entity.
Yes. I used pictures for this. I decorate for holidays, and I remember scrolling through them and remembering what it was like to be that person. It was very helpful.
I love all of these.... pragmatic, simple and wise! I'm not prone to deeply depressive episodes. For me, they are few, and far between. However, even in my mostly steady state, I can vouch for how much MORE peaceful my life is since I've greatly limited the amount of political news I ingest (any news for that matter). I can't believe how much of my energy and peace it consumed while I was "trying to stay on top of things". And I laugh now at how ridiculous I was thinking I could. Though, I have to say, I found you on (then) Twitter while I was immersed in news... and I'm very glad I did. A spot of sunlight! Frankly, your ability to articulate your observations with rationale and wit, is always refreshing to me.
I recently started playing the drums again after a (holy cow) 38 year hiatus. Playing makes me so happy! And you’re absolutely right: I need to drop $200 on a decent stool so I can sit and play for longer than 40 minutes at a time. (The foam in my 38-yr-old stool is completely useless) Soon!!
Yeeeeeeeees!!! Do it! And post a video! I want to hear!!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I have not the first clue how to do that! If I can figure out how to edit the video I took, I’ll post it to YouTube and reply with a link…
https://youtu.be/y0owTC3YzMQ?si=NHJe01VaT3nKJVB4
The audio quality is terrible and I see a thousand problems I need to work on but I’m putting myself out here anyway!
I love it!!! And I know what you mean. I'm over it -- it's why I can post beginner tinted charcoal drawings -- but it took awhile. You're doing great.
Haven't been there - have skirted the edges, like many probably have. But I've lived and worked with some who have, and this looks useful, if I can get them to read it, or listen to me tell them. Thanks.