I occasionally drop out of the world for a few days to de-tox. Last weeks vacation was that. And then I come back to this. I don’t opine on every post because I simply don’t want to be a Holly sycophantic ass. I have to say though I’d read your thoughts at twice the price. There is a raw truthfulness that’s just stunning. Whether you mean to or not you do help me. You help me to understand the things going on in my head or heart that I don’t seem to articulate very well sometimes. I think I’m not the only one that you help in that way. And the art is really good and I’m glad that it’s such enjoyment for you. I can’t play the bass guitar worth a damn but I surely enjoy it. Peace.
Woof. That is some essay. Do not let anyone tell you cannot write.
My reaction would have been What The Actual F@ck is that? and moved along (too many loonies and too little time). I do not think rejecting reality and cosplaying is a good way to live, because Karma is one cold entity and always catches up with you, but that’s my reading of history and human nature.
I sympathize with you about getting ghosted by people once you are no longer “useful”, but for a lot of folks, out of sight is out of mind. I do not understand it and consider it seriously lame - still hurts though. Perhaps some of us are too transactional in our relationships?
None of that should determine our sense of self worth (I know, easy to say, harder to do). Be well and have a great (unplugged) vacation.
And after the enlightening walk through that introspective forest, I see that final footnote at the end. Maple syrup is concentrated goodness in appropriate quantities; I am not in danger, while regularly reading this Substack, of drowning in treacle.
On the AppleCare: I've been using Apple products since 1994, first at work and then at home. Every one has had AppleCare coverage. It is well worth the price.
A long time ago, I decided to be like Popeye: "I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam." So I just let all the various variants of human behavior roll off me, if they're strangers, and adjust for it if they're friends or acquaintances. Makes life a whole lot easier.
What also works is to go through life striving to love your neighbor. And I say striving because sometimes it's not that easy...
Dang! I cancelled Apple Care this week. I bought a new iPhone last year and the "Genius" asked me if I wanted it. I said no. He pushed and more or less overrode my preference and said, "Let's just add it anyway. You can cancel it any time." I let that happen and paid 7.95/mo for nearly 8 months because I couldn't get Apple to cancel it!. Finally, I managed to get it done using my phone, instead of doing it on-line through my computer.
I've had an iPhone ever since they were introduced. I keep my phone until it is close to no longer being covered for updates. When I get a new one, the old one looks like it was never used. I take good care of my stuff and generally have a rule never to buy "insurance" coverage.
I shattered the screen a couple of years ago of my iPad which was purchased 3 years earlier for work, making it about 5 years old at the time. It didn't have Apple Care. I'm still using it, the spidered screen looking much worse than it is. I don't have any trouble using it that way.
I didn't know, however, that if my iPhone got hurt, that Apple would replace it with a brand new one. But, I guess I'll just be even more careful with my phone now. Years ago, when renewing my license plate for my car was more than I could afford, I drove around for quite awhile with expired plates. Man, did I follow the rules of the road religiously. Best driver I've ever been.😂
It’s now $20 a month cover all my Apple devices, which is $240 a year, which means it’s already paid for itself if I keep it another five years just with the iPad. At that cost, one claim every five years is breaking even, and the screen damage wasn’t even that bad. It was tolerable; I’m just an OCD freak.
I also don't like "insurance" on consumer items. However, AppleCare has worked well for me. At the university where I worked, they would automatically add AppleCare on any Mac purchases; the techs in the IT section all had training at Apple and were certified techs, so they could handle almost everything that came along.
One problem they couldn't handle: a new large-screen Apple monitor developed a strange malady: a two-pixel line running from top to bottom about a third of the way over from the left edge. When our techs first called, the Apple guys said "Impossible"; we sent a photo. With that they sent a new one and asked that we pack up the old one in the shipping box and send it back to Cupertino. I don't know what they found when they got the monitor, but we had no problems with the new one.
I saw myself in your reflections. I too performed to survive; so much so that I don’t really even know which parts are mine and which were cultivated to avoid abandonment. Your words and your prints are both authentic and genuinely yours. Thank you for sharing them with us.
Apple is apparently going to offer a new variant of Apple Care that will cover all your devices for one flat rate price. I've seen not details yet, but I expect it will roll out with the release of version 26 of their various operating systems.
Oh, the irony of me saying I like to be useful... and helping...and seeing this posted a few minutes later.
I saw someone in Facebook group posting pics of himself in a furry type getup and the attitude and look just screamed "confidence," and I recognized it, that mix of emtion, the rolling of the eyes and... envy. I don't want to wear THAT and pretend I am something I am not. but I would like to stop caring what people think when they see me, and to feel confident that I look great.
I have issues with my looks and finding good, comfortable clothes that fit me and also are not rejected by others. I am working on it. I found a website with a bunch of shirts I loved and I wear them at home, but they didn't fit my work job standards. It didn't matter when I worked from home, except for video making.
I think this is funny and annoying...I recently found a website with great looking clothes that I believe are AI created and it is a scam site where they take money and don't ship. I am pissed they are not actual items.
No, I had never heard of it. Thanks. I can look at it. But I found out that I could wear black pants and tried black jeans and no one has batted an eye.
I am overly anxious. No one seems to know what our employee dress code is but me, lol. I painstakingly looked over the manual and dress code in particular when I started, and dressed up, only to find my co-workers dressed more casual and others I saw at work didn't care. It is a church. I just have to not be too revealing and I wouldn't be too revealing left to my own devices anyway. Really, I need to get over my fears of my dress attire being used to fire me.
"To call oneself outside the binary is to define oneself by the binary. If you’re 'not male or female,' then you are, by definition, referencing maleness and femaleness as your frame.
"You’re saying, 'That’s the binary — and I’m something else.'
"Which is just…a new binary."
As the old joke says, There are two kinds of people in this world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.
I doubt actively choosing to live in delusion is a good long term strategy for happiness. But I’ve been doing a lot of zazen lately, so maybe that’s just me.
Ain't nothing new! This ditty was first published in 1867:
Young man in a carriage, driving like he's mad
With a team of horses, he's borrowed from his dad.
He cracks his whip so lively, just to see his lady's smile
But she knows he's only putting on the style.
Chorus:
Putting on the agony, putting on the style
That's what all the young folks are doing all the while
And as I look around me, I'm very apt to smile
To see so many people putting on the style.
I always loved the use of the word "agony" in the sense you used "performance" perhaps because it indicates the degree to which the person doing it is suffering from a longing for genuine connection. As social animals we all do it, but some over do it like that chap in the hot pink jumpsuit. We all have to work out how we relate socially by trial and error - even trying not to do it in parasocial situations like a comment section. I still love to show off with a clever turn of phrase. Or a song from 1867 I heard as a kid. But then there are the things one does that only please something deeper inside - like drawing the mailbox. Jung would say that illustrates the difference between the false self and the higher Self. You are doing fine Holly.
Sometimes, what we might consider to be a problem is, in fact, another person's solution. Orion Taraban covers this concept well in this vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE2Gr378fkg
I occasionally drop out of the world for a few days to de-tox. Last weeks vacation was that. And then I come back to this. I don’t opine on every post because I simply don’t want to be a Holly sycophantic ass. I have to say though I’d read your thoughts at twice the price. There is a raw truthfulness that’s just stunning. Whether you mean to or not you do help me. You help me to understand the things going on in my head or heart that I don’t seem to articulate very well sometimes. I think I’m not the only one that you help in that way. And the art is really good and I’m glad that it’s such enjoyment for you. I can’t play the bass guitar worth a damn but I surely enjoy it. Peace.
Woof. That is some essay. Do not let anyone tell you cannot write.
My reaction would have been What The Actual F@ck is that? and moved along (too many loonies and too little time). I do not think rejecting reality and cosplaying is a good way to live, because Karma is one cold entity and always catches up with you, but that’s my reading of history and human nature.
I sympathize with you about getting ghosted by people once you are no longer “useful”, but for a lot of folks, out of sight is out of mind. I do not understand it and consider it seriously lame - still hurts though. Perhaps some of us are too transactional in our relationships?
None of that should determine our sense of self worth (I know, easy to say, harder to do). Be well and have a great (unplugged) vacation.
And after the enlightening walk through that introspective forest, I see that final footnote at the end. Maple syrup is concentrated goodness in appropriate quantities; I am not in danger, while regularly reading this Substack, of drowning in treacle.
On the AppleCare: I've been using Apple products since 1994, first at work and then at home. Every one has had AppleCare coverage. It is well worth the price.
A long time ago, I decided to be like Popeye: "I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam." So I just let all the various variants of human behavior roll off me, if they're strangers, and adjust for it if they're friends or acquaintances. Makes life a whole lot easier.
What also works is to go through life striving to love your neighbor. And I say striving because sometimes it's not that easy...
Dang! I cancelled Apple Care this week. I bought a new iPhone last year and the "Genius" asked me if I wanted it. I said no. He pushed and more or less overrode my preference and said, "Let's just add it anyway. You can cancel it any time." I let that happen and paid 7.95/mo for nearly 8 months because I couldn't get Apple to cancel it!. Finally, I managed to get it done using my phone, instead of doing it on-line through my computer.
I've had an iPhone ever since they were introduced. I keep my phone until it is close to no longer being covered for updates. When I get a new one, the old one looks like it was never used. I take good care of my stuff and generally have a rule never to buy "insurance" coverage.
I shattered the screen a couple of years ago of my iPad which was purchased 3 years earlier for work, making it about 5 years old at the time. It didn't have Apple Care. I'm still using it, the spidered screen looking much worse than it is. I don't have any trouble using it that way.
I didn't know, however, that if my iPhone got hurt, that Apple would replace it with a brand new one. But, I guess I'll just be even more careful with my phone now. Years ago, when renewing my license plate for my car was more than I could afford, I drove around for quite awhile with expired plates. Man, did I follow the rules of the road religiously. Best driver I've ever been.😂
It’s now $20 a month cover all my Apple devices, which is $240 a year, which means it’s already paid for itself if I keep it another five years just with the iPad. At that cost, one claim every five years is breaking even, and the screen damage wasn’t even that bad. It was tolerable; I’m just an OCD freak.
I also don't like "insurance" on consumer items. However, AppleCare has worked well for me. At the university where I worked, they would automatically add AppleCare on any Mac purchases; the techs in the IT section all had training at Apple and were certified techs, so they could handle almost everything that came along.
One problem they couldn't handle: a new large-screen Apple monitor developed a strange malady: a two-pixel line running from top to bottom about a third of the way over from the left edge. When our techs first called, the Apple guys said "Impossible"; we sent a photo. With that they sent a new one and asked that we pack up the old one in the shipping box and send it back to Cupertino. I don't know what they found when they got the monitor, but we had no problems with the new one.
I saw myself in your reflections. I too performed to survive; so much so that I don’t really even know which parts are mine and which were cultivated to avoid abandonment. Your words and your prints are both authentic and genuinely yours. Thank you for sharing them with us.
I was going to say pretty much the same thing, so I'll condense it to "Me, too."
Apple is apparently going to offer a new variant of Apple Care that will cover all your devices for one flat rate price. I've seen not details yet, but I expect it will roll out with the release of version 26 of their various operating systems.
Oh, the irony of me saying I like to be useful... and helping...and seeing this posted a few minutes later.
I saw someone in Facebook group posting pics of himself in a furry type getup and the attitude and look just screamed "confidence," and I recognized it, that mix of emtion, the rolling of the eyes and... envy. I don't want to wear THAT and pretend I am something I am not. but I would like to stop caring what people think when they see me, and to feel confident that I look great.
You have never struck me with the familiar sense I get when talking to someone who’s insecure, or at least insecure in the same league as me, FWIW.
I have issues with my looks and finding good, comfortable clothes that fit me and also are not rejected by others. I am working on it. I found a website with a bunch of shirts I loved and I wear them at home, but they didn't fit my work job standards. It didn't matter when I worked from home, except for video making.
I think this is funny and annoying...I recently found a website with great looking clothes that I believe are AI created and it is a scam site where they take money and don't ship. I am pissed they are not actual items.
Have you tried NY&Co? Their work pants are so comfortable it feels like wearing sweats to work.
No, I had never heard of it. Thanks. I can look at it. But I found out that I could wear black pants and tried black jeans and no one has batted an eye.
I am overly anxious. No one seems to know what our employee dress code is but me, lol. I painstakingly looked over the manual and dress code in particular when I started, and dressed up, only to find my co-workers dressed more casual and others I saw at work didn't care. It is a church. I just have to not be too revealing and I wouldn't be too revealing left to my own devices anyway. Really, I need to get over my fears of my dress attire being used to fire me.
I've found that there are givers and takers(users). You, Holly, are a giver. It's your nature.
Takers find people like you (and me, dammit), use them up, and discard them like yesterday's trash. That's the way of the world.
Try to find joy, peace, and happiness in doing the right thing for the right reason. Ultimately, that is what will satisfy you the most.
"To call oneself outside the binary is to define oneself by the binary. If you’re 'not male or female,' then you are, by definition, referencing maleness and femaleness as your frame.
"You’re saying, 'That’s the binary — and I’m something else.'
"Which is just…a new binary."
As the old joke says, There are two kinds of people in this world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't.
I doubt actively choosing to live in delusion is a good long term strategy for happiness. But I’ve been doing a lot of zazen lately, so maybe that’s just me.
I suspect that a great deal of life has a performative side, even among the most well adjusted people.
Ain't nothing new! This ditty was first published in 1867:
Young man in a carriage, driving like he's mad
With a team of horses, he's borrowed from his dad.
He cracks his whip so lively, just to see his lady's smile
But she knows he's only putting on the style.
Chorus:
Putting on the agony, putting on the style
That's what all the young folks are doing all the while
And as I look around me, I'm very apt to smile
To see so many people putting on the style.
I always loved the use of the word "agony" in the sense you used "performance" perhaps because it indicates the degree to which the person doing it is suffering from a longing for genuine connection. As social animals we all do it, but some over do it like that chap in the hot pink jumpsuit. We all have to work out how we relate socially by trial and error - even trying not to do it in parasocial situations like a comment section. I still love to show off with a clever turn of phrase. Or a song from 1867 I heard as a kid. But then there are the things one does that only please something deeper inside - like drawing the mailbox. Jung would say that illustrates the difference between the false self and the higher Self. You are doing fine Holly.
Sometimes, what we might consider to be a problem is, in fact, another person's solution. Orion Taraban covers this concept well in this vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE2Gr378fkg