I only partially disagree, I think. By that I mean, I think it had more to do with the "unconditional love" part than the religion part, as I have known many parents who gave unconditional love without religion and many religious parents incapable of love. But that's not to say that I disparage Christianity. I don't. I object to its excesses, but I also object to the excesses of the Woke religion that the West has replaced it with.
I grew up in a mostly secular household, but I do have great parents.
I would agree with Kathleen on this in this sense: you can provide a great household and unconditional love for your children, but they should also be given a worldview with which to see and understand the world. They may alter their beliefs when they get older, but at that point it’s out of the parent’s hands. If they aren’t given a framework to understand themselves, then the world will fill in the blanks for them.
I would argue that a traditional religious faith is the best way to do that, but you have to find your own way. I don’t think God cares about what we believe; I think he cares about what we do.
Right now the plan for my 15 year old son is a bit different; I took him to Scotland, where I used to live, and mentioned in passing in Stirling that he could go to university in Europe. A couple of months after that he said that sounded interesting to him. That means he goes directly into a subject (no gen ed), takes three years rather than four, and he gets the experience of living in Europe, which he is extremely interested in. Also side steps all of the stupid woke campus life stuff and crazy status chasing of the US college admissions circus.
He’s also do an online virtual charter school and I’m heavily engaged with his school work (and so far other than some annoyances in AP Human Geography it’s been ok).
Spot on, Holly. My two daughters (now 28 and 25), attended state universities, both STEM majors. The older one went on to a masters degree (kinesiology). The younger graduated with a BS in applied mathematics.
The older one is married, has two young children, and is mostly unaffected by woke indoctrination. She stopped working shortly before having their first child two and a half years ago. She chose her husband wisely, and they could easily afford to do that.
The younger one we lost to woke indoctrination. She moved 1,200 miles away from us and we hear from her a few times per year. Her value system is the exact opposite of how she was raised.
It’s exactly the situation you described in your essay.
Our son graduated from high school in May. He was splitting time between regular high school and technical high school. He graduated with OSHA and EPA certification in HVAC.
He now makes more money (with OT) working for an industrial HVAC contractor than either of his two sisters ever have. After he has two or three years of experience under his belt, he can move to any state in the country and immediately land a job making $65-$90k per year.
Between avoided student debt and the income he’ll make over the next four years, we figure he’ll be $250k+ ahead of his peers who are graduating from college in 2027.
Another wonderful essay, Holly! My suggestion to parents is that they emulate 19thC British tradition: Send your kids on a Grand Tour of Europe, with appropriate tutors for every subject area. In the 21stC, I'd add Asia. I know 2 kids who did a short version of this, and they loved it.
Teaching your kids to "do the math" (and how to "do the math") is one of the best things you can do for them as a parent. I once taught an introductory economics class to some college students, and, during one class, we "did the math" and demonstrated the power of investing in tax-deferred investment accounts early during one's career. I still remember the shocked looks on their faces when they realized how much money they would be leaving on the table by NOT maxing out their 401Ks as early as possible in their careers. Not racking up a ton of student loan debt goes hand-in-hand with the "invest early and often" strategy.
What do you recommend for parents of children who want to be doctors or lawyers or enter a non-STEM field where a graduate or professional degree is required?
I only partially disagree, I think. By that I mean, I think it had more to do with the "unconditional love" part than the religion part, as I have known many parents who gave unconditional love without religion and many religious parents incapable of love. But that's not to say that I disparage Christianity. I don't. I object to its excesses, but I also object to the excesses of the Woke religion that the West has replaced it with.
I grew up in a mostly secular household, but I do have great parents.
I would agree with Kathleen on this in this sense: you can provide a great household and unconditional love for your children, but they should also be given a worldview with which to see and understand the world. They may alter their beliefs when they get older, but at that point it’s out of the parent’s hands. If they aren’t given a framework to understand themselves, then the world will fill in the blanks for them.
I would argue that a traditional religious faith is the best way to do that, but you have to find your own way. I don’t think God cares about what we believe; I think he cares about what we do.
Right now the plan for my 15 year old son is a bit different; I took him to Scotland, where I used to live, and mentioned in passing in Stirling that he could go to university in Europe. A couple of months after that he said that sounded interesting to him. That means he goes directly into a subject (no gen ed), takes three years rather than four, and he gets the experience of living in Europe, which he is extremely interested in. Also side steps all of the stupid woke campus life stuff and crazy status chasing of the US college admissions circus.
He’s also do an online virtual charter school and I’m heavily engaged with his school work (and so far other than some annoyances in AP Human Geography it’s been ok).
Nice!! I like this plan.
Spot on, Holly. My two daughters (now 28 and 25), attended state universities, both STEM majors. The older one went on to a masters degree (kinesiology). The younger graduated with a BS in applied mathematics.
The older one is married, has two young children, and is mostly unaffected by woke indoctrination. She stopped working shortly before having their first child two and a half years ago. She chose her husband wisely, and they could easily afford to do that.
The younger one we lost to woke indoctrination. She moved 1,200 miles away from us and we hear from her a few times per year. Her value system is the exact opposite of how she was raised.
It’s exactly the situation you described in your essay.
Our son graduated from high school in May. He was splitting time between regular high school and technical high school. He graduated with OSHA and EPA certification in HVAC.
He now makes more money (with OT) working for an industrial HVAC contractor than either of his two sisters ever have. After he has two or three years of experience under his belt, he can move to any state in the country and immediately land a job making $65-$90k per year.
Between avoided student debt and the income he’ll make over the next four years, we figure he’ll be $250k+ ahead of his peers who are graduating from college in 2027.
Yep, absolutely he picked a great path. Good for you and your wife!
There is literally nothing I would disagree with here as a European except point 4. Generally the financial burden isn't as onerous in Europe.
Another wonderful essay, Holly! My suggestion to parents is that they emulate 19thC British tradition: Send your kids on a Grand Tour of Europe, with appropriate tutors for every subject area. In the 21stC, I'd add Asia. I know 2 kids who did a short version of this, and they loved it.
Teaching your kids to "do the math" (and how to "do the math") is one of the best things you can do for them as a parent. I once taught an introductory economics class to some college students, and, during one class, we "did the math" and demonstrated the power of investing in tax-deferred investment accounts early during one's career. I still remember the shocked looks on their faces when they realized how much money they would be leaving on the table by NOT maxing out their 401Ks as early as possible in their careers. Not racking up a ton of student loan debt goes hand-in-hand with the "invest early and often" strategy.
What do you recommend for parents of children who want to be doctors or lawyers or enter a non-STEM field where a graduate or professional degree is required?