If you’re still looking at these, I could use help shopping for my husband. He is the hardest person to get gifts for in our family. He doesn’t really have hobbies per se. He has coached our kids sports (softball and baseball) but is done with that except for our youngest (by a lot)—he’s starting to teach her to play softball. He is an attorney, and likes clocks and neon signs, and loves watching sports (Florida gators, Oregon ducks, Jacksonville jaguars are his teams) and true crime stuff. He plays golf occasionally. I feel like we’ve given him every possible “sports fan” item.
No affinity for ducks overall I don’t think. If any, alligators would be more his thing—they’re his primary sports love above all. His dad was a college football player and coach also. He’s a city attorney so that means some of a lots of things—municipal prosecution, land use, contracts, advising the city council on all manner of things. He’s a good “arguer,” not afraid of conflict when it’s appropriate (in fact, kind of enjoys it), but also is good at solving people’s problems and very insightful on knowing what’s really going on under the surface.
This is a kind of weird question, but with regard to spending, does he prefer items over experiences in general? Or is he the kind of person that would much rather go somewhere for a day or two than get a nice gift? People tend to be one or the other, but there are exceptions. I’m an exception. With other people, I prefer experiences. By myself, as I am so much of the time, I prefer items that create experiences, like getting myself the really good art supplies. They're expensive but they create many wonderful experiences for the expense. So I'm a little weird, but most people are one or the other, not intensely but in general. Most people are like 75/25 one over the other. How would you describe him on this axis?
This is a good question. If I’m thinking about how he spends money when he makes the choice, it’s definitely experiences over things. Going to games for sure, visiting friends in other cities, travel sports for our kids (which he relishes), seeing new things all appeal to him. In fact, when I think about things he spends money on, it’s kind of related to experiences—example: he’ll spend plenty on a good softball bat or sports training equipment to use with one of our kids.
Another idea, since he's an experience sort -- under the current rules, athletes CAN be paid for personalized experiences. Figure out who his favorite current players are and do some social media sleuthing. Most kids are active on TikTok or Instagram. Send a DM offering to pay them directly or to go through their NIL (name, image, likeness) agent if they have one. Then arrange for a Zoom call.
Next idea: use eBay or one of the other auction sites to get personalized or signed jerseys of three players that are all quarterbacks (I *think* that's the boss on a football team but IDK for sure) and have them framed together with a little plaque that says something cute and fitting (three bosses from the gridiron, for the boss of the courtroom would be the idea, but you'd phrase it better).
OK, first idea: Cameo. This is a service where famous or semi-famous people will record a personal message on request. You could tell Urban Meyer (who an LLM informed me is the Gators most famous coach) that your husband is an attorney but needs arguing tips from a master and he'll record a short video calling him by name and responding. Here's the Cameo link for the Jaguars. https://www.cameo.com/browse/athletes/football/jacksonville-jaguars?qid=1785580602. Fred Taylor, the LLMs inform me, played for both the Gators *and* the Jaguars, and a Cameo from him is about $300. These vary wildly from well under $100 to Emmit Smith for over $700 but most are under $300.
Delight is something that children excel at, but often gets lost as life progresses (earlier for some than fir others). Just lately I've been re-developing my capacity for delight through music, in the hope it will spread. I think it's working, because last night I took delight in a very ordinary sunset.
Well, since you offered, how about some gift suggestions for my husband for Christmas? He's middle-aged, not religious, loves a variety of outdoor activities like skiing and mountain biking, and went semi-vegan a few years ago. He's much better at picking out gifts than I am, and handles all the Christmas shopping for others, but he really appreciates when I can get him a gift without asking him what he wants, so it'll be a surprise. Likes restaurants, though not as much as he did before going on a GLP-1. Also quit alcohol before we had kids. I'm currently leaning towards looking up exotic nonalcoholic wine alternatives that can be mail-ordered.
One of the things I learned from my son. He filled a basket with smooth stones. When some unexpected event that brought joy or delight happened, when he came home he would write a brief account on the stone an a date. The shear number, of what my wife calls 'God kisses' brings delight.
I'm a grandfather to 5, three boys and two girls. When they were small gifts were easy. Now the ages range from 16 (two youngest) to 22. Gifts tend to lean to edibles and gift cards, which do not actually generate much delight. Being a pensioner of limited means also governs how much can be spent. I'm open to suggestions from anyone, as two birthdays approach and then the inevitable holiday season.
I have 17 grandkids am recently retired. As I look at old age, I have come to believe that my role is to pass along wisdom (I think you can only truly understand the meaning of your life as the last chapters are being written and all the themes and loose ends are finally being resolved). I noticed, as I talked to a friend about his life as he was dying of cancer, he told me stories, stories that were, in their way, miraculous, meaningful. I asked him if he even told his children and grandchildren. Interestly he had not and yet he'd tell me--meaningful to both of us, a kind of gift he was giving to me. I decided that my 17 grandkids would hear my story and benefit from lessons I had learned along the way. I decided to write each one of them a personal letter, note each month. It has connected us in ways I could not have anticipated.
One has graduated and is about to begin her second year of teaching 3rd graders. Her sister is in college. Two of the boys are about to start their junior year of high school. The oldest has graduated from high school and is kind of lost. The online learning of COVID left him somewhat adrift.
Good call on the band guy! Soccer guy no longer plays, but is somewhat into cooking. College girl is a budding artist, got an award for her work in charcoal. She often draws in her spare time. Teacher is not a big problem to shop for, especially given the pay that profession gets. The HS grad is a conundrum for all. He is a gamer, also into full carnivore diet. Interested in sustainable farming, but for now borderline NEET.
"Yes, I know that there is such a thing as “duct tape,” but I was familiar with the Duck Tape brand for years before I knew this, so I say duck tape."
"Duct tape" is a back-construction. The original name *is* duck tape; it was invented in WWII as a sealant for things like ammo boxes. Made of cotton duck fabric coated with a waterproof adhesive, so "duck" was apropos in two dimensions. Now the brand name "Duck Tape" *is* much more recent, but anyone who snottily tells you that it's really "duct tape" deserves a rapid ego deflation.
Not to be confused with 'speed tape' which scares the shit out of commercial air passengers but is not, in fact, a 737-MAX8 held together with duck tape.
A friend of mine years ago, who was an Air Force mechanic, called that "F-4 tape", because that was what they used as needed on the F-4 Phantom, a very fast fighter-bomber aircraft.
I love you so much right now. I get so much shit over that and to find out that I was right all along has me grinning. Also, there's a particular paid subscriber who's been annoying the fuck out of me lately and I was sure he would be the first comment. You have made my day twice over!
If you’re still looking at these, I could use help shopping for my husband. He is the hardest person to get gifts for in our family. He doesn’t really have hobbies per se. He has coached our kids sports (softball and baseball) but is done with that except for our youngest (by a lot)—he’s starting to teach her to play softball. He is an attorney, and likes clocks and neon signs, and loves watching sports (Florida gators, Oregon ducks, Jacksonville jaguars are his teams) and true crime stuff. He plays golf occasionally. I feel like we’ve given him every possible “sports fan” item.
No affinity for ducks overall I don’t think. If any, alligators would be more his thing—they’re his primary sports love above all. His dad was a college football player and coach also. He’s a city attorney so that means some of a lots of things—municipal prosecution, land use, contracts, advising the city council on all manner of things. He’s a good “arguer,” not afraid of conflict when it’s appropriate (in fact, kind of enjoys it), but also is good at solving people’s problems and very insightful on knowing what’s really going on under the surface.
This is a kind of weird question, but with regard to spending, does he prefer items over experiences in general? Or is he the kind of person that would much rather go somewhere for a day or two than get a nice gift? People tend to be one or the other, but there are exceptions. I’m an exception. With other people, I prefer experiences. By myself, as I am so much of the time, I prefer items that create experiences, like getting myself the really good art supplies. They're expensive but they create many wonderful experiences for the expense. So I'm a little weird, but most people are one or the other, not intensely but in general. Most people are like 75/25 one over the other. How would you describe him on this axis?
This is a good question. If I’m thinking about how he spends money when he makes the choice, it’s definitely experiences over things. Going to games for sure, visiting friends in other cities, travel sports for our kids (which he relishes), seeing new things all appeal to him. In fact, when I think about things he spends money on, it’s kind of related to experiences—example: he’ll spend plenty on a good softball bat or sports training equipment to use with one of our kids.
Another idea, since he's an experience sort -- under the current rules, athletes CAN be paid for personalized experiences. Figure out who his favorite current players are and do some social media sleuthing. Most kids are active on TikTok or Instagram. Send a DM offering to pay them directly or to go through their NIL (name, image, likeness) agent if they have one. Then arrange for a Zoom call.
Okay, these are actually amazing ideas that I would not have thought of. I wonder what your process is that gets you there. ⭐️⭐️
Yay!! I'm glad they're helpful!
Next idea: use eBay or one of the other auction sites to get personalized or signed jerseys of three players that are all quarterbacks (I *think* that's the boss on a football team but IDK for sure) and have them framed together with a little plaque that says something cute and fitting (three bosses from the gridiron, for the boss of the courtroom would be the idea, but you'd phrase it better).
OK, first idea: Cameo. This is a service where famous or semi-famous people will record a personal message on request. You could tell Urban Meyer (who an LLM informed me is the Gators most famous coach) that your husband is an attorney but needs arguing tips from a master and he'll record a short video calling him by name and responding. Here's the Cameo link for the Jaguars. https://www.cameo.com/browse/athletes/football/jacksonville-jaguars?qid=1785580602. Fred Taylor, the LLMs inform me, played for both the Gators *and* the Jaguars, and a Cameo from him is about $300. These vary wildly from well under $100 to Emmit Smith for over $700 but most are under $300.
I'm in bed, yawning. But I have some ideas. I will reply in the morning!
Does he have an affinity for ducks more generally? What sort of attorney is he?
Delight is something that children excel at, but often gets lost as life progresses (earlier for some than fir others). Just lately I've been re-developing my capacity for delight through music, in the hope it will spread. I think it's working, because last night I took delight in a very ordinary sunset.
Well, since you offered, how about some gift suggestions for my husband for Christmas? He's middle-aged, not religious, loves a variety of outdoor activities like skiing and mountain biking, and went semi-vegan a few years ago. He's much better at picking out gifts than I am, and handles all the Christmas shopping for others, but he really appreciates when I can get him a gift without asking him what he wants, so it'll be a surprise. Likes restaurants, though not as much as he did before going on a GLP-1. Also quit alcohol before we had kids. I'm currently leaning towards looking up exotic nonalcoholic wine alternatives that can be mail-ordered.
I'm annoyed that I don't have any skiing friends to give this to. 😂😂😂
https://www.etsy.com/listing/659582762/repurposed-ski-pole-plunger-upcycled?ref=share_ios_native_control
I don't ride but i’d get this. Very cool looking. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1806115957/biker-metal-wall-clock-mountain?ref=share_ios_native_control
This one has potential! Our house is lacking in wall decorations.
This will be $75 in November. https://www.etsy.com/listing/4306114405/custom-bicyclist-bobblehead-personalized?ref=share_ios_native_control
You are a "QUACK!"
One of the things I learned from my son. He filled a basket with smooth stones. When some unexpected event that brought joy or delight happened, when he came home he would write a brief account on the stone an a date. The shear number, of what my wife calls 'God kisses' brings delight.
I adore this post! I use similar strategies for giving gifts.
Delight, like awe, is associated with long life. Thank you for sharing it is accessible to all.
I'm a grandfather to 5, three boys and two girls. When they were small gifts were easy. Now the ages range from 16 (two youngest) to 22. Gifts tend to lean to edibles and gift cards, which do not actually generate much delight. Being a pensioner of limited means also governs how much can be spent. I'm open to suggestions from anyone, as two birthdays approach and then the inevitable holiday season.
I have 17 grandkids am recently retired. As I look at old age, I have come to believe that my role is to pass along wisdom (I think you can only truly understand the meaning of your life as the last chapters are being written and all the themes and loose ends are finally being resolved). I noticed, as I talked to a friend about his life as he was dying of cancer, he told me stories, stories that were, in their way, miraculous, meaningful. I asked him if he even told his children and grandchildren. Interestly he had not and yet he'd tell me--meaningful to both of us, a kind of gift he was giving to me. I decided that my 17 grandkids would hear my story and benefit from lessons I had learned along the way. I decided to write each one of them a personal letter, note each month. It has connected us in ways I could not have anticipated.
Great idea Steve!
I would give anything for a connection of this sort with an elder who really loved me. This is priceless.
What do they want to do with their lives/what are they studying in college or working in/what are they most interested in?
One has graduated and is about to begin her second year of teaching 3rd graders. Her sister is in college. Two of the boys are about to start their junior year of high school. The oldest has graduated from high school and is kind of lost. The online learning of COVID left him somewhat adrift.
Are the twins jocks? Artists? Theater geeks? Video gamers? Something else?
Not twins, but cousins. One went from soccer to working part time. The other is big on marching band.
Cool! If you have insight into what the others are into, post that and I’ll give you some more specific ideas.
Marching band: https://www.etsy.com/listing/571175579/marching-band-marching-band-sign?ls=s&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=marching+band+gift&ref=sr_gallery-1-33&pro=1&sts=1&content_source=fff20f3c-5934-407f-859c-a23dd6754861%253ALTed315fb71ce6210774d954a3b54aa9d8ea4e87ad&organic_search_click=1&logging_key=fff20f3c-5934-407f-859c-a23dd6754861%3ALTed315fb71ce6210774d954a3b54aa9d8ea4e87ad and https://www.etsy.com/listing/4324814640/marching-band-t-shirt-musician-tee-band?ls=s&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=marching+band+gift&ref=sr_gallery-1-19&pro=1&content_source=fff20f3c-5934-407f-859c-a23dd6754861%253ALTc00264fde5bc7d80bc418604ed9f5be1c2c6c2c6&organic_search_click=1&logging_key=fff20f3c-5934-407f-859c-a23dd6754861%3ALTc00264fde5bc7d80bc418604ed9f5be1c2c6c2c6 Soccer kid — https://www.etsy.com/listing/4315540987/custom-3d-printed-soccer-ball-pen-holder?ls=s&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=soccer+fan+gift&ref=sr_gallery-1-13&pro=1&frs=1&content_source=c8676f7c-0f32-4b30-a43e-6ba8c8c12029%253ALT1ef2a2acc9dc7b770aa1a6233c37439408bec272&organic_search_click=1&logging_key=c8676f7c-0f32-4b30-a43e-6ba8c8c12029%3ALT1ef2a2acc9dc7b770aa1a6233c37439408bec272 and https://www.etsy.com/listing/4540696898/basketball-soccer-led-lamp-flexible?ls=s&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=soccer+fan+gift&ref=sr_gallery-1-6&pro=1&content_source=c8676f7c-0f32-4b30-a43e-6ba8c8c12029%253ALT5c08f5b04a0e6b897f2b01ad4f16b96a7374f9ab&organic_search_click=1&logging_key=c8676f7c-0f32-4b30-a43e-6ba8c8c12029%3ALT5c08f5b04a0e6b897f2b01ad4f16b96a7374f9ab
Good call on the band guy! Soccer guy no longer plays, but is somewhat into cooking. College girl is a budding artist, got an award for her work in charcoal. She often draws in her spare time. Teacher is not a big problem to shop for, especially given the pay that profession gets. The HS grad is a conundrum for all. He is a gamer, also into full carnivore diet. Interested in sustainable farming, but for now borderline NEET.
"Yes, I know that there is such a thing as “duct tape,” but I was familiar with the Duck Tape brand for years before I knew this, so I say duck tape."
"Duct tape" is a back-construction. The original name *is* duck tape; it was invented in WWII as a sealant for things like ammo boxes. Made of cotton duck fabric coated with a waterproof adhesive, so "duck" was apropos in two dimensions. Now the brand name "Duck Tape" *is* much more recent, but anyone who snottily tells you that it's really "duct tape" deserves a rapid ego deflation.
I grew up calling the stuff "100 mile/hour tape" and was very confused by the duck/duct controversy, as neither of those things could go that fast.
A Piper Supercub *might* do 100 indicated. Not with bush tires, though.
https://aviationhumor.net/duct-tape-use-number-1001-repair-a-plane-after-a-bear-attack/#google_vignette
Not to be confused with 'speed tape' which scares the shit out of commercial air passengers but is not, in fact, a 737-MAX8 held together with duck tape.
https://www.aircraftspruce.com/catalog/cspages/3malumifoiltape.php
(The way you can tell it's FAA-approved is it costs almost a dollar a yard. 🤣 )
A friend of mine years ago, who was an Air Force mechanic, called that "F-4 tape", because that was what they used as needed on the F-4 Phantom, a very fast fighter-bomber aircraft.
Well it sure as hell wouldn't be A-10 tape, because those ugly bastards will fly with 90% of their parts hanging off.
I love you so much right now. I get so much shit over that and to find out that I was right all along has me grinning. Also, there's a particular paid subscriber who's been annoying the fuck out of me lately and I was sure he would be the first comment. You have made my day twice over!
Hey, it gets even better -- it was invented by a woman! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesta_Stoudt