I’m so glad you’ve regained access to a thing you love! It’s a huge struggle to be unable to do things you enjoy. I hope you are able to find a new, better job that gives you satisfaction, not merely money and benefits. And I hope it happens soon!
Creativity is probably the purpose of life itself.
It can be frustrating to receive criticisms along the lines of “what is that good for?” In a supremely utilitarian world, creativity for its own sake is often shunned. But there is really no reason to have to justify any creation. It is its own justification. And there is no reason to fetishize any creation. Music or any performance art is good that way in being transient. Like a colored sand mandala that is destroyed once it has been completed.
The link between creativity and meditation is very enlightened and enlightening. Thanks for that!
The creature is the creator.
Be confident that you will be okay, and that you will have what you need. Your integrity is too important to compromise.
Once again you’ve proven that what is difficult, often beyond mere words, is possible to overcome. You’ve spoken in the beautiful voice of one that has walked a painful path and come out the other side without becoming monstrous. To say that I am overwhelmed sometimes with your simple honesty makes the words seem trite. I’ll certainly be praying for your job and whatever future adventure you embark on. I’m also glad that you have such a friend in Josh. A good friend is often a rock. Peace.
If you can find a job with insurance and if you can pause appointments for 90 days (usually), that's an option. Also, once you are in between, go to the Marketplace website in your state and apply with your income in between jobs. It's so much cheaper than COBRA. And, you can configure it to keep just what you need not to sink you. I've been there before.
My husband was brought up in an abusive household by chain-smoking parents and can totally relate to your desire for a calm, uncluttered, odor-free environment. Now that our place is finally organized the way we want, we find walking into nearly anyone else’s home to be a stifling experience.
Hallelujah! Please let me know if I can help at all! Being unwillingly uprooted from your career is something I’m familiar with, having gone through it recently. In hindsight it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I too turned to creativity which saved my sanity and in so doing, saved me and my family. Happy to help.
"Drawing is a learnable skill. So are all the other creative arts.
A person born with talent might have a higher ceiling on what he or she can accomplish in a particular area, but so what?"
This applies to a lot of non-creative things like sports, even running* or cycling.
Sure if you aren’t a Kenyan or Ethiopian you probably won’t be setting world records running marathons but you can always push yourself a bit, and a bit more and a bit more and suddenly find that you think nothing of running a 10km just to go see the cherry blossoms in that park over there.
* though possibly not running in Holly's specific case given the arthritis mentioned
Sorry to hear about your work situation. I applaud you for standing up for what's right at work. We all encounter that from time to time, and your integrity is worth more than your job. Seriously, it really is. I like what My favorite wisdom about that comes from Neil Armstrong:
"The single observation I would offer for your consideration is that some things are beyond your control. You can lose your health to illness or accident. You can lose your wealth to all manner of unpredictable sources. What are not easily stolen from you without your cooperation are your principles and your values. They are your most important possessions and, if carefully selected and nurtured, will well serve you and your fellow man."
I applaud your dedication to learning to draw. You've become quite skilled at it from what I can see.
As to meditation, I was never good at just paying attention to my breath. Rather, what works for me is repetition of something to the point that I don't have to think about it. I was raised Catholic, so the Rosary works for me. Chanting simpler mantras works for others. In any case the results can be amazing.
Also, in looking for new work, I would suggest that you check out Booz Allen. I'm retired from them now, and you still might get caught by the stupid HR filters, but I did a simple search for openings for Data Scientist and fully remote work on their web site and got 30 hits. https://careers.boozallen.com/jobs/search/data%20scientist/?1485=USA&2111=%5B9148446%5D&2111_format=1307&listFilterMode=1&jobRecordsPerPage=20&jobOffset=0. There might be more for hybrid work situations. If you want a critique of your resume, you can email it to me. My email address can be found on my website https://frank-hood.com if you can't see it from your subscriber page. I was a software engineer, and my writing ability was a huge plus. I'd wager it might be also true for a data scientist. (I was also an ontologist.)
This is really inspiring, Holly! I have written a novel myself and started several others but abandoned writing more or less a few years ago to focus on other things. I miss that creative flow state you described. Maybe it's times to get back to creative pursuits beyond gardening and cooking.
I enjoy your writing. Just became a paid subscriber. Am wishing all the best to you in your work situation and life!
Thank you so much for this Holly! 🙏❤️
Mine are not the same challenges, but overlap.
And this is a profoundly wonderful reminder.
Thank you for sharing your experience and strength. For “undressing in front of your window.”
I am reminded that faith and doubt walk hand in hand….
May we both, and others facing challenges, be the calm within the storm.
Hang in there and know that you are not alone.
I’m so glad you’ve regained access to a thing you love! It’s a huge struggle to be unable to do things you enjoy. I hope you are able to find a new, better job that gives you satisfaction, not merely money and benefits. And I hope it happens soon!
A lot in here. All very valid and valuable.
Creativity is probably the purpose of life itself.
It can be frustrating to receive criticisms along the lines of “what is that good for?” In a supremely utilitarian world, creativity for its own sake is often shunned. But there is really no reason to have to justify any creation. It is its own justification. And there is no reason to fetishize any creation. Music or any performance art is good that way in being transient. Like a colored sand mandala that is destroyed once it has been completed.
The link between creativity and meditation is very enlightened and enlightening. Thanks for that!
The creature is the creator.
Be confident that you will be okay, and that you will have what you need. Your integrity is too important to compromise.
In this moment, I feel that the word that describes you best is one that I have thought about you before : Courageous.
You are clearly very courageous for all the reasons you mentioned here as well as others.
I’m happy for how you’ve made your life work. Especially because of all the obstacles you’ve overcome and are still overcoming.
Also I am scared for you; for what you can potentially face in the future.
And I am continuing to pray for you; always hoping for the very best of everything for you.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Once again you’ve proven that what is difficult, often beyond mere words, is possible to overcome. You’ve spoken in the beautiful voice of one that has walked a painful path and come out the other side without becoming monstrous. To say that I am overwhelmed sometimes with your simple honesty makes the words seem trite. I’ll certainly be praying for your job and whatever future adventure you embark on. I’m also glad that you have such a friend in Josh. A good friend is often a rock. Peace.
If you can find a job with insurance and if you can pause appointments for 90 days (usually), that's an option. Also, once you are in between, go to the Marketplace website in your state and apply with your income in between jobs. It's so much cheaper than COBRA. And, you can configure it to keep just what you need not to sink you. I've been there before.
My husband was brought up in an abusive household by chain-smoking parents and can totally relate to your desire for a calm, uncluttered, odor-free environment. Now that our place is finally organized the way we want, we find walking into nearly anyone else’s home to be a stifling experience.
Hallelujah! Please let me know if I can help at all! Being unwillingly uprooted from your career is something I’m familiar with, having gone through it recently. In hindsight it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I too turned to creativity which saved my sanity and in so doing, saved me and my family. Happy to help.
"Drawing is a learnable skill. So are all the other creative arts.
A person born with talent might have a higher ceiling on what he or she can accomplish in a particular area, but so what?"
This applies to a lot of non-creative things like sports, even running* or cycling.
Sure if you aren’t a Kenyan or Ethiopian you probably won’t be setting world records running marathons but you can always push yourself a bit, and a bit more and a bit more and suddenly find that you think nothing of running a 10km just to go see the cherry blossoms in that park over there.
* though possibly not running in Holly's specific case given the arthritis mentioned
Sorry to hear about your work situation. I applaud you for standing up for what's right at work. We all encounter that from time to time, and your integrity is worth more than your job. Seriously, it really is. I like what My favorite wisdom about that comes from Neil Armstrong:
"The single observation I would offer for your consideration is that some things are beyond your control. You can lose your health to illness or accident. You can lose your wealth to all manner of unpredictable sources. What are not easily stolen from you without your cooperation are your principles and your values. They are your most important possessions and, if carefully selected and nurtured, will well serve you and your fellow man."
I applaud your dedication to learning to draw. You've become quite skilled at it from what I can see.
As to meditation, I was never good at just paying attention to my breath. Rather, what works for me is repetition of something to the point that I don't have to think about it. I was raised Catholic, so the Rosary works for me. Chanting simpler mantras works for others. In any case the results can be amazing.
Also, in looking for new work, I would suggest that you check out Booz Allen. I'm retired from them now, and you still might get caught by the stupid HR filters, but I did a simple search for openings for Data Scientist and fully remote work on their web site and got 30 hits. https://careers.boozallen.com/jobs/search/data%20scientist/?1485=USA&2111=%5B9148446%5D&2111_format=1307&listFilterMode=1&jobRecordsPerPage=20&jobOffset=0. There might be more for hybrid work situations. If you want a critique of your resume, you can email it to me. My email address can be found on my website https://frank-hood.com if you can't see it from your subscriber page. I was a software engineer, and my writing ability was a huge plus. I'd wager it might be also true for a data scientist. (I was also an ontologist.)
Keep doing the right thing and keep your chin up.
Thank you very much. I will be reaching out.
I have emailed you!
This is really inspiring, Holly! I have written a novel myself and started several others but abandoned writing more or less a few years ago to focus on other things. I miss that creative flow state you described. Maybe it's times to get back to creative pursuits beyond gardening and cooking.
I enjoy your writing. Just became a paid subscriber. Am wishing all the best to you in your work situation and life!