Fortunately, I am unable to implement a similar process for myself, so I won’t. You know, because I don’t have a world-class therapist. So I don’t know whether to dig through the layers or to drill. Or how big of a hole to make. Well, I wish you well on your excavations. (Hmmm, the water table here isn’t that deep; maybe a well of my own is in order, after all. Thanks!)
Thanks for sharing . GOOD LUCK in making meaningful progress toward achieving your 2025 goals.As a quantitative studies major over 60 years ago I am impressed by your use of a Venn diagram in describing your therapist. They are one of my favorite descriptive tools. BTW- my observation as an 82 year old still in excellent health is that I have perhaps subconsciously adopted the why - because methodology much earlier in my attempts to overcome my difficulties and move towards achieving my goals because I realize that I probably no longer have 50 years to procrastinate and practice avoidance. Putting off achieving a desire goal for several years now means fate ( or the infirmities of old age) is more likely to intervene and keep me from achieving that deferred goal. One example is finally attacking the reasons for the almost thirty pounds that I had gradually gained during the past 15 years ( besides the fact that I enjoy all types of food) and getting serious about discovering a sustainable dieting approach that would enable me to maintain my marathon times as I age . As a result , in the past 18 months I have lost 28 pounds, I again weigh what I weighed in high school and my 2024 NYC Marathon time was my best since 2017. It was difficult but I am sure my pride is obvious that I did it.
You have an amazing therapist who pushes you to 1) do your end of the work 2) think critically about your desires. It’s a real skill that so many shy away from because they lack confidence in challenging clients constructs and fear being disliked or fired. Great tips on the ‘but why’ process to help people drill deeper into their unachieved goals.
Thank you so much for this. I had to do something similar to this several years ago when I began therapy. Unfortunately with COVID, explosive family changes, etc. so much of my progress/healing has been demolished and it feels like I have to start over from scratch with so many things. It's incredibly discouraging. This is very encouraging and I am going to write down these prompts and utilize these tips. Also, I am going to have to start going back to therapy on a more regular schedule. Like you, I have an excellent therapist who will hold me accountable for my work. That is such a rarity these days that it is beginning to feel a bit wrong not to take the help she provides. This really has been a much-needed push in the right direction. Thank you again and Happy New Year!
An excellent post.
You do have a very good therapist.
I use the “5 Why” as a tool at work all the time. I have never even considered applying it to my personal life.
I will do that now.
Fortunately, I am unable to implement a similar process for myself, so I won’t. You know, because I don’t have a world-class therapist. So I don’t know whether to dig through the layers or to drill. Or how big of a hole to make. Well, I wish you well on your excavations. (Hmmm, the water table here isn’t that deep; maybe a well of my own is in order, after all. Thanks!)
Thanks for sharing . GOOD LUCK in making meaningful progress toward achieving your 2025 goals.As a quantitative studies major over 60 years ago I am impressed by your use of a Venn diagram in describing your therapist. They are one of my favorite descriptive tools. BTW- my observation as an 82 year old still in excellent health is that I have perhaps subconsciously adopted the why - because methodology much earlier in my attempts to overcome my difficulties and move towards achieving my goals because I realize that I probably no longer have 50 years to procrastinate and practice avoidance. Putting off achieving a desire goal for several years now means fate ( or the infirmities of old age) is more likely to intervene and keep me from achieving that deferred goal. One example is finally attacking the reasons for the almost thirty pounds that I had gradually gained during the past 15 years ( besides the fact that I enjoy all types of food) and getting serious about discovering a sustainable dieting approach that would enable me to maintain my marathon times as I age . As a result , in the past 18 months I have lost 28 pounds, I again weigh what I weighed in high school and my 2024 NYC Marathon time was my best since 2017. It was difficult but I am sure my pride is obvious that I did it.
I love it! Going to use this method. Forwarded to a friend.
May I ask for the name of your therapist? I am looking for a new one. ps I did look for a way to private message you but I don’t see one.
As a paid subscriber I assume you have access to my email address?
Thanks!
Email hollymathnerd at gmail.
You have an amazing therapist who pushes you to 1) do your end of the work 2) think critically about your desires. It’s a real skill that so many shy away from because they lack confidence in challenging clients constructs and fear being disliked or fired. Great tips on the ‘but why’ process to help people drill deeper into their unachieved goals.
This is brilliant Holly! Thank you !
Thank you Holly. Magnificent!
You give me hope. 🙏
Thanks for this one. It was very helpful.
Thank you so much for this. I had to do something similar to this several years ago when I began therapy. Unfortunately with COVID, explosive family changes, etc. so much of my progress/healing has been demolished and it feels like I have to start over from scratch with so many things. It's incredibly discouraging. This is very encouraging and I am going to write down these prompts and utilize these tips. Also, I am going to have to start going back to therapy on a more regular schedule. Like you, I have an excellent therapist who will hold me accountable for my work. That is such a rarity these days that it is beginning to feel a bit wrong not to take the help she provides. This really has been a much-needed push in the right direction. Thank you again and Happy New Year!
I love this one and shared with my readers !