Many of you have asked in emails if I think leaving Twitter was the right decision. It’s been six weeks, so here’s an update, sparked by an email I just got. The email is a near-perfect example of everything that’s wrong with Twitter: the parasocial relationships that it creates, the distortion lens it causes people to see the world through, the fraught “relationships” and the absurd overreactions.
Twitter turns people into the worst possible versions of themselves.
The email has me laughing out loud, because six weeks after Twitter, the demon bird app’s bullshit is still following me.
Substack Is Not OnlyFans
A grown man, a CPA who runs his own business—and thus has a deeply vested interest in being thought of a sober person who responds to life proportionately and with mature judgment—just unsubscribed from my Substack. I get emails when paid subscribers cancel. Here was his reason:
Think about this, y’all.
A grown man was so offended by losing his presumed entitlement of access to a woman’s attention—a woman he’s never met—on social media that he unsubscribed and sent that.
This has happened twice before, though it’s been awhile: nasty unsubscription messages from men who thought that this was an OnlyFans, not a Substack, and that they were paying for access to my attention and not my writing.
He could have asked why I blocked him. Unfortunately, I likely couldn’t have told him. As I wrote in my essay about leaving Twitter, it was rare for any individual mute-or-block to stick in my mind for longer than a few seconds. With so many followers and such a high interaction account, I had to block/mute at the slightest provocation in order to stay relatively sane on Twitter.
He Could Have Grasped This, If He Tried
My disappointed former reader is, as I said, a CPA.
Here’s an analogy: suppose he had a waiting room full of potential clients all day, every day, many more than he could ever possibly give any level of attention, and all of them trying to talk to him.
Would he not, just to keep the noise down to a tolerable level, eject people from the waiting room? Would not even minor disturbance result in crossing that individual off the “potential clients” list?
I do not suspect the guy of being a bad CPA or a bad person, by the way. I think he probably responds to life reasonably when he’s not on Twitter.
Twitter does this to people, and more effectively the longer you’re on it.
The Best Part of Leaving Twitter
There are many benefits to being off Twitter: the extra time, the books I’ve read, the improvement of psychological fragmentation, and the serious reduction in adrenaline caused by having significantly fewer difficult interpersonal actions.
But the best part of leaving Twitter?
Every little thing isn’t fraught, anymore.
Twitter turns rational adults into people for whom something as minor as getting blocked on Twitter is a reason to unsubscribe from a Substack they presumably were enjoying, and to send a “fuck off” email from their professional address.
Six weeks off the demon bird app, and I see the absurdity quite clearly, both of anything at all being this fraught and doubly so, something as stupid as losing access to a stranger’s tweets.
All I can do is laugh.
Yes, Leaving Twitter is Glorious
The dopamine addiction is real, but after three days you’ll feel like yourself again. The longer you’re away, the easier it will be to be the best version of yourself.
Get off the demon bird app now and thank me later.
Housekeeping
Comments are turned on for paid subscribers. Email me at hollymathnerd at gmail if you want to participate but can’t afford a paid subscription. I’m happy to give anyone a year for free with no questions asked. Also, if you enjoy reading my Substack, passing the link around helps new people find it (ironically, given the topic, Twitter helps more than most). Thanks!
Without Twitter, I would not be motivated at all to pay attention to current events – and, as a citizen, I think I probably should. Besides, it’s much more amusing to read hot takes on political speeches than to listen to them from the source, given the parlous state of oratory today.
However, I just replied the other day to Kamala Harris’s assertion that “we all have the same capacity” and that took off to @HollyMathNerd levels. It’s exhausting – but encouraging that most Twitterers involved agree with me that that’s not remotely true. Never has been, and never will be (unless “Harrison Bergeron” comes to pass).
Although I miss your tweets, I'm so glad getting off of Twitter has been so positive for you. Seriously thinking about taking the plunge myself.