This post is about a drastic change I intend to make. I’m writing about it in the hopes that some of you will join me. Send me an email if this post inspires you to make a similar change.
Multi-Tasking: the most damaging habit of all?
As is, I suspect, the case with most people, I am a constant multi-tasker.
This moment is typical, for me, particularly during non-work hours.
I’m at my personal computer station (i.e. the one with my personal laptop, not the super-secure corporate-issued one for my job), a standing desk with a laptop and two extra monitors. The left monitor is streaming “Good Trouble,” the spin-off series to “The Fosters,” my current favorite show. It also has Signal and iMessage, where I communicate with most of my friends. The laptop screen has Discord, and is also where Excel, Microsoft Word, or whatever else goes when I’m working on something. The rightmost screen has a Firefox window with 14 tabs: this one, Symbolab where I’m checking my math for a complicated problem I’m solving, Duolingo where I’m studying French, 7 email accounts for both my personal life and two side hustles, a google search results page and two tabs with the study I will link to later in this post, and, inevitably, Twitter.
It may seem like, when working, my attention is only split in two directions. I’m writing this post on the right monitor while the sound of the “Good Trouble” episode streaming is piped right into my hearing aids. But I have noticed instantly when a Signal message gets read, an iMessage read receipt pops up, or an email comes through—so many times—that it’s obvious my attention is split into more than two directions.
I come closest to single focus at work, but even there Microsoft Teams and my phone are constant attention drains. I like my coworkers, and I want to make them feel connected to me by responding quickly to chat messages.
And because I both work from home and live alone, often experiencing profound loneliness that sometimes leads to deep depression, texts and Signal messages from friends are my life’s closest equivalent to hugs, personal connection, or other types of emotional intimacy. It is very hard to not respond instantly.
I read hard copy books on the exercise bike because exercise is tedious, but almost always with my hearing aids in, so that I don’t miss texts and Signal messages (my phone pipes sound directly into my hearing aids).
I read books in bed and on a beanbag chair, but it’s very difficult. The constant ache of loneliness means I sometimes imagine my phone is alerting me. Sometimes, not often, I manage to take my hearing aids out to read.
I love cooking and cleaning, but always do those while streaming podcasts or listening to audiobooks via my phone’s direct-to-hearing-aids function.
Do I ever do just one thing at a time? Yes. I have a meditation practice, where I do one thing: focus on my breath. That time in the morning is the only time when I consistently manage this, but it’s very difficult. There’s a reason that Buddhists refer to “monkey mind.” If I can stay on the pillow for 25-30 minutes or longer, my mind eventually settles down. It’s usually just a few days a week, at most, when I manage to do it for that long.
Many people believe that they are good at multi-tasking, but we have good evidence that nobody is, including this study. Multi-tasking impairs cognitive performance on every measure. None of us live up to anything resembling our full potential when we’re doing multiple things at a time. Our brains simply are not equipped for this.
John Lennon said, “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”
In 2022, it may be that life is what happens while you’re distracting yourself with social media, podcasts, and god knows what else.
What are the consequences of multi-tasking?
For me, I am quite sure that multi-tasking increases both depression and anxiety. This is ironic, because I mostly use multi-tasking as a distraction from loneliness—which means that not multi-tasking just might increase both depression and anxiety. It also might motivate me to fix what needs fixing and be less alone, instead of finding ways to feel less alone.
I am about to find out.
I’ve been treading water for a long time in the personal progress I want to make. In trying to look at the root causes for this paralysis, it seems likely that my lifestyle of constant distraction prevents me from facing my demons head-on.
I realized this when I managed a longer than usual meditation session. Once my monkey mind had settled down, my self-talk (spontaneous thoughts about myself) became much more apparent, and it was pretty fucking horrifying. The spontaneous thoughts lurking below the white noise of my media choices revealed a lot of work I still need to do.
Not multi-tasking is hard. Being fully present is brutally difficult. Why? I suspect because making conscious choices and owning them is really difficult.
How many of us would watch TV if it was the only thing we were doing? No phone, no balancing the checkbook, no paying bills—just watching TV.
How many of us can bear to exercise if exercise is all we’re doing?
How many of us would spend any time at all on Twitter if that was it—ONLY Twitter?
It’s 4:09 am. My alarm will go off, to start the day officially, in just under an hour. Today and for the rest of this week, I’m going to experiment with focus: with doing one thing at a time.
I expect it to be revelatory in ways I’m probably not prepared to handle, but ultimately good for me.
However it turns out, I’m going to write about it.