“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” —Aristotle
One of my annual re-reads is Atomic Habits, by James Clear. I read it each December in preparation for setting New Year’s goals and attempting to “level up” each year.
From a combination of this fabulous book, research on habit-forming, and my own experience, here are three tips on habit-building that have worked really well for me.
One: Start Very, Very Small.
My therapist introduced me to the philosophy of Stoicism, from which he believed I would benefit. I quickly found it helpful but struggled to integrate the study and practice into my daily life. C-PTSD means that my emotions can be quite volatile at times, and while my progress is ongoing, I kept finding myself trying to do a deep study when I was depressed, angry, overly frustrated, or too tired to focus. Then I would get discouraged, hate myself more, and stop trying entirely.
After reading Atomic Habits, I started trying again — microscopically small.
For a couple of weeks, all I did was spend fifteen seconds each morning reading the day’s quote. That was it. That was the definition of success. I felt silly, stupid, and pathetic as often as not, but ignored those feelings and kept at it.
Eventually—and this is key—I stopped thinking I should do more, and started actually wanting to do more. That was the time to add the morning meditation, which takes the desk calendar quote and adds a few paragraphs of insight, and the journal, which provides a few lines for personal reflection.
As I started to benefit from this habit and found it improving my days, I wanted to go deeper. The next step, adding other books on stoicism from which I read a chapter each morning and then write a few sentences about what I’ve learned, was very easy, because I had a solid hook on which to hang more effort.
My morning ritual now is hugely beneficial and the rare days when I miss it are noticeably diminished. I love it and am very happy to have it established in my life—but it all started with fifteen seconds that felt silly and pointless, for months.
Two: Set Yourself Up for Success — Easy, Convenient.
In most things, but especially physical exercise, people tend to set themselves up to fail by aiming way too high at first.
Choosing something that you can actually do without a lot of pain (key word: a lot; some pain is both inevitable and a strengthening, empowering net benefit) is the key to building a positive habit.
The None to Run system starts new runners off with something that almost anyone can do — 30 seconds of jogging followed by 2 minutes of walking. As with spending fifteen seconds reading a Stoic desk calendar, this was so easy that it felt silly and pointless for awhile.
But it wasn’t. It was the beginning of something powerfully positive. Running is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I truly love it. The endorphins, my heartbeat pounding in my ears, the feeling of accomplishment—very little is better.
Last August, even truly loving to run and living somewhere with an outdoor vista that is gorgeous, where venturing outside provides heavenly beauty…I bought a treadmill. Why?
Because I’m realistic. I live in New England, where it’s presently 23 degrees and snowing. Would I put on three layers and go outside and run to get the health and mood benefits? Yes. Would I do it every single day? No. Would it be infinitely easier to find excuses and let myself off the hook than it is when the running opportunity is literally between me and kitchen? Uh-huh.
Pick something you can do and then make it convenient.
Remove the excuses, increase the success probability.
Three: Be Flexible
For awhile, I was walking 10,000 steps a day (about four miles, usually doing 80% of it in the mornings, generally outside). It was great. I enjoyed it and it was good for me. But running? Is absolutely better. This time of year is when the abyss (my term for depression) creeps closer and closer. When it’s within shouting distance, as it is now, anything that produces endorphins quickly becomes worth its weight in gold. Running produces endorphins for me. Walking does not.
Doing a None to Run workout first thing in the morning, then running another 2-3 miles during the day (usually 1 mile, a couple of times) is also improving my weight and fitness a lot faster than walking was. More intense exercise, several times a day, seems to keep my metabolism working harder than less intense exercise, once a day; and this pales in comparison to the mood benefits.
It was about two and a half weeks between giving up on 10,000 steps a day and settling into the right rhythm to institute a running habit in its place. I felt unsettled and frustrated, and keeping the voice of maniacal self-condemnation in my head relatively quiet was not easy. But I found my stride, so to speak, and it was worth the anxiety of the period of experimentation to get here.
If you think you can meet your overall goals by pivoting, changing your approach, and trying something new—go for it! You just might discover something better and more beneficial.
Just Do It On Purpose
We are creatures of habit, with easily trained brains that Big Tech programs for us. (Small example: the reason there’s a slight delay between Twitter loading and seeing your number of waiting notifications is that the delay utilizes neuroscience learned during the study of gambling addiction—it is the maximally addictive point for you to get a dopamine spike of reward.)
This fact of our being easily habituated is not something we can change, so it’s incumbent on us to own it and use it deliberately, making good habits on purpose.
It’s not easy, but it’s absolutely worth it.