This is a memory that I don’t know what to do with.
It defies all my usual algorithms for categorization.
It evokes profoundly contradictory emotions.
I am as grateful for it as I am humiliated by it.
I wish I didn’t have it to fend with it, but I also can’t regret it.
Writing sometimes brings me clarity, so I’m writing this reflection with the hope that I’ll discover some meaning or conclusion by the end.