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I’m going to tell you a story that will, I hope, be funny by the end. It’s about an Amazon customer service nightmare that is so ridiculous, my pattern-seeking, mathematical mind is concocting hypotheses about government psy-ops meant to drive people insane—or to drink.
What makes this more than just my personal frustration-venting, I think, is that this is becoming a new normal. Amazon is the most extreme example I’ve experienced, but customer service is dying at a rapid pace. (Locally it’s so bad that I call ahead before going anywhere, since showing up in person to see a sign on the door saying “Closed early due to staffing” is so common.)
We are rapidly heading for a scenario where the basic infrastructures of capitalism are breaking down, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
I am starting to understand why alcoholism in Soviet Russia was such a big thing.
Yes, This Is A First World Problem
I am fully aware that this is not a serious problem. I have real and serious problems. For example: I am writing about this nightmare of Amazon Customer Service hell while in a metric ton of pain because I slept badly, had multiple nightmares, and fought off attackers in a nightmare after having strained my shoulder yesterday.
Sleep disorders and chronic pain are real and serious problems. This is not a story about a serious problem.
Yes, I am fully aware of how lucky I am that this is even on my radar as a “problem.”
Now for the story.